Christmas: A Beautiful Complexity

What a ride! About six years ago, I decided to do something a little voice inside my head had been telling me to do my whole life: write a book. Here's a little background: So I've spent my entire life absolutely loving books, movies, television shows, and even the stories within music. I've been accused of overanalyzing every characteristic of main characters to every element of a plot. I will watch movies multiple times, completely engaged. More than one person has said the following words to me, "It's just a movie" -- or book, or show -- you get what I mean. Because of my obsession with a good story, I always wanted to be a writer. However, the risk involved in making a living wage off writing had me caving to my more practical side. So... I became the next best thing... a history teacher. Now some of you reading this may be like, "How's a teacher the next best thing to a writer?" Well, I'll tell you. You get to imagine and create every single day. I'm lucky to teach in a place where I get to create a warm, engaging environment based off my own design. So why a history teacher? History is the story of humankind. It's filled with drama, hope, love, twists and turns -- everything we could possibly want in a good movie. Then why do we make it so boring to the average person in school? I honestly don't know the answer to that. I try to make history as fun as I can in the classroom, incorporating my storytelling abilities alongside teaching students to develop their own storytelling abilities. Therefore, revealing the story of humankind to students was the next best thing to writing stories of my own each day... and it came with a steady paycheck. So... How did this lead me back to my original dream of being a writer? After teaching for about ten years, I felt like a part of who I was wasn't being utilized -- almost like an inherent part of me was sitting in the back of my subconscious begging to come out. Even though I'd made my other dreams come true (becoming a wife, mom, and teacher), something was tugging at my heart. I'd even gotten confused enough to try and switch jobs, dabble in hobbies I'd never cared for, attempt a doctoral degree in something I wasn't even interested in -- I was searching for something. I prayed constantly for guidance and did what I thought was best in my heart. I felt desperate at times, but I just kept getting up and looking for opportunities to lead me down the right path. One day, a friend and I were having a conversation. He suggested I take time for myself as I was completely wiped out after a long week of teaching and (for lack of a better term) mom-ing. It was my friend's way of telling me "to get a hobby". I explained that I had no idea what I would even want to do anymore. It had been so long since I'd done anything for just myself. I didn't even know what I liked to do. Then he said, "You love writing. How 'bout writing?" Now, that was a brilliant idea! Seriously, you can write anywhere and at any time. It's basically free! But for some reason I was stubborn. I responded with a scoff and an expected complaint, "Take time to write? How the hell am I going to fit that into my life?" We laughed it off and got distracted by something I can't even remember now. However, I'm sure it was one of the children launching themselves off furniture in a cape. Our kids are very imaginative and driven. Of course a cape can defy the laws of physics, mom! A few weeks later, even though I'd moved on from the conversation, the thought " how 'bout writing" sat in the back of my mind. So one day, instead of watching television, I mustered up the courage to sit in front of our laptop and open a blank document. As soon as I set my fingers on the keyboard, the words poured onto the page. Apparently, something inside me had been dying to get out, and the decision to sit down and write had unleashed that tiny creature in the back of my subconscious. I couldn't stop. I wrote and wrote. It was so exciting! I had half a novel! And then... Life happened. Yep, I got distracted by a million different things: family, friends, job, current events -- you name it. And the novel I was working on got pushed aside. But the creature in my subconscious wouldn't have it. The idea didn't die. The novel didn't disappear. It lived in the back of my mind, and I had all sorts of different thoughts about it like: Should I continue it? Nah, it's stupid. What I wrote is silly. No one will like it. Just delete it. You don't have time for that. Maybe when you retire... You get the idea. So years passed and my novel hung out in docs, waiting to be completed. Then one day I was teaching a group of Western Civ students, and we were talking about the Greek philosophers. This discussion led to what we wanted to get out of life, which then led to us discussing our dreams. The students were struggling to choose their next path in life as they were seniors at the time. I was feeling very inspired that day so what I told them was this: "Live your dream? Nah... live your DREAMS! You really can live more than one dream. You can have a family and run a business. You can be a lawyer for 20 years and then a teacher. You can go to college or travel the world as a wild vagabond! The options are endless. But most importantly at the end of the day, you have to answer to yourself and only yourself. You want to close your eyes at night, knowing you're attempting to live your best life. Don't get me wrong, it may be hard, treacherous, and have both negative and positive consequences, but in the end you will be happy because you know you tried your hardest to live your dreams!" Doesn't that sound nice? Great motivation for seniors getting ready to walk out into the "real world". By the way that irks me -- the real world -- because some of these kids are already living in a pretty tough real world. They are inspiringly resilient! Anyway, the students and I had a good conversation about my impromptu speech, and the discussion we had lives with me to this day. As for the topic of that motivational speech I delivered by the power of God? It settled in my mind. (I say 'by the power of God' because there's no way I come up with this stuff on my own.) That speech and discussion with a group of Western Civ seniors on a rainy November day is what motivated me to put myself out there and finish my book. Now, here I am -- one novel down, a second on the way, a website designed, more social media posts in the past week than in my entire life, and a business developed through a pen name. Who would've thought taking my husband's advice to just write would lead to a life changing opportunity? I've only written one novel, I'm not very well-known, and I have a long road ahead in becoming a bestselling career novelist. But the door is now open! Once the book was written, the true rollercoaster began and is still running wild. I'm now in a world I never expected -- one of blog posts, writerslifts, hashtags I still don't understand, legal documentation, marketing ploys, scams, honest to goodness advice, rejections, and praise. Being an author has me elated one minute and then lying in the fetal position the next. It's been a wild ride, and I look forward to every minute of being a wife, mom, teacher, and now a... writer! Thank you so much for reading! If you like what I write about or want to stay up to date with my novel releases, be sure to submit your name and email below! May God lead you through your best life!